2011年3月3日 星期四

*A Dream*

  A dream I have had was a touching one. It was about me and a boy who was the most popular boy in my class.
  My classmates and I went to the department store, and so was he. While I was shopping with my friends, he talked to me again and again. Although I admired him, I didn’t want to have a love affair. Later, he came to chat with me when I was alone. During the conversation, I escaped for the excuse of going to restroom and didn’t go back. After walking alone for a while, I still went back for discomfort. However, he was not there anymore. With regret, I searched all the floors but didn’t saw him. Several hours later, I finally found him at the top floor. On seeing me, he rushed to me and held me tight. I felt like saying something but only to find my tears rolling down my cheek. Not until the moment did I realize that I liked him very much.

10 則留言:

  1. 最後第四行saw應該要原形

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  2. 恩...看完了
    基本上只有上面那個問題吧

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  3. 看起來好像沒問題了欸...
    那我要說什麼???

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  4. 妤如文章好棒喔
    找不出問題^^

    如果我是妳--
    應該會很開心哈哈
    好瘋狂的男孩XD

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  5. My classmates and I went to the department store, and so was he.這邊應該是SO DID HE哦
    I escaped for the excuse of going to restroom 這裡RESTROOM前面應該要加THE哦

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  6. 哈囉~妤如:
    我很喜歡妳的故事耶!
    第二句要改成so did he
    ........
    我盡力了!
    還有謝謝妳的意見 =目

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  7. 1.My classmates and I went to the department store, and so was he.
    →My classmates and I went to the department store, and so did he.
    2.With regret, I searched all the floors but didn’t saw him.
    →With regret, I searched all the floors but didn’t see him.
    3.Not until the moment did I realize that I liked him very much.
    →這個是結論句嗎- 0 -?
    (以上,淺見…)

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  8. 對不起。
    讓大家見笑了。>ˇ<
    謝謝大家看完。
    (筆記ing)

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  9. 大家都改完了O_O
    故事很好看,前面平平原來有伏筆(?!)
    結論或許可以多寫點。

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